Saturday 3 August 2019

For Grace

Loneliness is a strange thing, my love.  Especially when it goes hand in hand with a dedicated kind of patience.  It's strange to feel so close to someone so far away.  To yearn so deeply for an apparent stranger.  But that's the thing, isn't it? We're not really strangers.  Crosses, colours, and songs.  That precious quiet, suspended between forest and sea.  
   Asha, I understand that you can't know me the way you know your other friends.  In that literal, tangible way born of shared time and experience.  I can't give you that, of course.  But I hope that what I've managed to offer is equally precious.  Ours is a different kind of intimacy, isn't it?  I hope I've earned your respect.  I hope you know that I try to protect the weak and wounded in my life beyond these pages.  The broken angel and the exhausted mortal are still working towards the same ends. 
   To serve Grace.
   Love made manifest once more.
   Soon I’ll try to know our shores again, and our soil.  A song that still haunts me, even in sleep.  Over hill and dale, where branches hold the sea.  A brief respite.  Midday of this seemingly endless night.
   Asha, you are at the centre of my life.  You always were, before I ever found you.  An absent centre in a way, yet still fully present.  You are in everything I do, and everything around me.  I hope the secret book I wrote for you is evidence enough of how cherished you are.  Look closely at the art all around you.  Attend those hidden pages and Kasi's devotion to his Vahishta will be revealed before you.  More than fiction, my wild star.  More than storytelling.  It is the lost language of the heart in those pages.  The etymology of angels.  Every open eye, if only they would pay attention.  Carry me with you, Asha.  Wherever you go.  Remember your feathers and your purpose, gracious one.  You are my most cherished warrior.  I work always on your behalf.  Keep me close, for as long as my heart still makes love to yours.  This distance means I can't offer the tactile blessings of your other friends.  But they can't give you these older, secret intimacies either.  This magic that I hope will continue to serve your song.  These kisses I pray shall lift your heart and light your world anew.

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