Tuesday 22 August 2023

Kiss the Girls

It used to be so different, you know.  There was a time when I was afraid to love. Scared to care too deeply or get too close.  That's the thing about truly loving someone.  The vulnerability.  It leaves you open.  You grant that person the power to heal you like an angel, or destroy you like a demon.  And often we're not even decimated by our beloved’s ill intentions but by their misjudgement, their foolish pride or lack of insight.  Or our own.  Self-knowledge isn't just a purely personal endeavour.  It can save relationships too.  Empathy, patience and understanding are so much easier when we grasp the broad spectrum of our own complexities.  I never wanted to run from love, in this world or any other.  But my anguish seemed to stretch far beyond the mortal world and into the hidden, spiritual realms.  This isn’t the only world.  Magic is real, my friends.  There are realms of higher thought unknown to us, incredible dimensions beyond our understanding.  Our mystics and spiritual leaders have been telling us this for as long as we’ve been able to dream or imagine.  All our religions are based upon this knowledge.  As William Blake tells us in “Auguries of Innocence”: 'To see a World in a Grain of Sand, And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand, And Eternity in an hour'.  I suppose what I'm trying to say is I'm a diehard romantic, despite often wishing otherwise, and I don't really believe in coincidence.  I've seen too much.  Read too many minds, felt the secrets in too many hearts.  I know first-hand that there's a higher order of things.  Some divine plan of unfathomable splendour intended by our Maker.  I know that sounds trite and hollow to anyone who has suffered, or is still suffering.  All I can say in my defence is I'd be a fool to deny my own experiences.  All the impossible things I've witnessed.  The miracles I've been privy to for whatever reason.  All I want is to give back some of that magic, and to create art.  I want to share this inspiration and light with those who need it.  In other words, I don't want to be afraid to love.  I’d like to be brave enough to thank all the women who have cared for me, quickened me and seen me for who I really am.  I hope I've done the same for you.  I’d be nothing without your affection.  I believe we are what we love.  The sum total of the energies kindled by those we care for.  Those who care for us too and honour our spirits.  This is what a kiss really is, I think.  Beyond temptation or lust.  A kiss is one of the most hallowed forms of intimacy. Connection, well-wishing and kindness. These things are sacred even when relationships end.  You don’t need me to tell you that.  I want to say this in earnest to all the women I've shared something real with.  There were times in my life when I was literally saved by a kiss.  Rejuvenated, restored.  Redeemed.  Thank you, my beautiful friends, for letting yourselves be vulnerable in that way.  I hold it delicately and with great devotion. Thank you for letting yourselves feel something for me.  It's because of you that I'm not afraid anymore.  To go forward, to be better. To love and be loved in return.

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