Antumbra

For you, my love, I'm willing to sacrifice.  Once upon a time, in my depths, in red flame and golden light, I swore to protect you.  Friend and guardian until death, whether you were to cross my path or not.  We have been so many things to each other in this myriad, as you know.  My love is true, Asha.  All that I can give, I will give.  A heartsong to accompany my cherished one on her many adventures.  If our friends find strength and solace in these visions then all the better.  The kind ones are just as much a part of our mission as we are to each other.  

    All this cruelty was never intended.  Not by my hand or the hand of any bright angel with true power.  Not by our Father, or Mother.  

    I would heal those broken books if I could, my love.  Those holy texts.  Mankind's greatest poetry and thought.  Our highest hopes.  Those brothers and sisters who sacrificed for us, bled for us.  Created something out of nothing for us.  Most of them perished de-named and unknown when Empyrean was raped and the sky inverted.  So much of our truth and holy has been lost to the abyss.  

    And I am here, like many others, still trying to gather the scattered radiant – broken and half-blind in the dark.  But I'm not as blind as I was, beloved.  Because of you.  I can see now, with your grace.  Every facet gleaming.  And though I often put these visions to choir for you, my dear, I'm still adjusting to this second sight.  Even now.  A thousand years isn’t very long for an immortal soul.  That little boy forever hunting monsters, he’s hunting still.  To build a gentler world for you.  I want you to know this in your bones, Asha.  My love is dependent on nothing.  You owe me nothing.  You needn't hold yourself to some impossible ideal, in case you think it's what I want.  I say these things only as a caution.  You are a skilled one.  Curious and clever.  With age and experience you are learning to pace yourself far better than I did.  You surpass me, wild star.  Sometimes you think yourself merely adequate.  In your more tired and saddened moments, but that is so far from the truth.  You shine, my love.  Even when at rest.  Soft, fierce, mischievous.  Like me, but better.  Stubborn, tender and savage.  You have made me so proud, Asha.  Even when at play, joking with family and friends – there is such a light and intelligence within you.  You make me smile in a number of ways.  

    Sometimes when you frown I see myself in the creases of your brow. 

    Perhaps similar things vex and perplex us?  

    Little Rock, I will make sacrifices when necessary.  I will deny myself certain comforts so that you might have all the vision and softness you need.  We have come so far together, my love.  The years have flown by, haven’t they?  On ragged, feathered wing.  This abyss I find myself in, it can only hurt me.  It might kill me one day, but it can never destroy me.  I need you to remember that.  My spirit is with you forever, sweet one.  I'm not giving up.  I'm never giving up on truth and love, even if I have to restart a thousand times more.  For you I'll rebuild this gate.  I'll hold the iris open yet again.  For you, my love, I'll plummet through the heart of an eclipse, if it will help to get you and all these blessed souls home one glorious day.