This Haunted Heart

Happy New Year, my friends.  Welcome back to Amid Night Suns.  We stand now collectively at the gate of a new cycle.  This opening cusp of 2021.  I know just how dark, difficult and anxious the past year has been for so many of us.  Some of us are still dealing with the fallout of those difficulties and will continue to do so for a while yet.  But I'm not writing this to remind you of shadows.  I'm writing this in hopes of lifting your spirit.  For every darkness there is an opposing light.  Dawn always smiles upon us in the end, no matter how endless the night had seemed.  I just want to impart that to anyone struggling right now.  I'm struggling too.  I don't mean to offer empty platitudes and hollow words to anyone dealing with tragedy and loss.  It might sound painfully earnest but I just want to remind us all to smile and laugh when we can, to cherish our families and friends.  To keep the idea of better days foremost in our minds.  Art is such a touchstone when dealing with grief and uncertainty.  When the world makes little sense we inevitably turn to the stories that we love.  Literature, music and movies.  We seek meaning and the creation of meaning.  We make things with our hands and with our minds.  We paint, sculpt and dance, aligning our bodies with higher truths.  Somewhere deep in our core we recognise the ability of art to bend, shape and change reality.  We may be powerless in every way except the spirit, constrained in so many ways but the way we dream.  Nobody can steal our dreaming from us, unless we let them.  That ineffable, mobilising agency of the human imagination.  Simultaneously embodied and transcendent, physical and divine.

Many of us have had to deal with ghosts this past year, whether literal or metaphoric.  Issues and fears we thought we had put to rest, suddenly forcing themselves back into the quiet places of our minds.  It's an awful thing to feel at the mercy of forces beyond our control or understanding.  That's why my goal as an artist has always been to quicken the spirit.  To reach out to the lonely, the lost or haunted.  I might not be able to heal your pain but I can share my love with you remotely.  I might not be able to put my arms around you but I can try to touch your heart.  For me, art is my closest connection to God.  To meaning, and salvation.  Nothing stirs my soul more than the recognition of a greater spiritual reality.  There are secrets in the sun and the moon and the stars.  I believe there are secrets within each one of us, placed there by something that truly loves us.  A living, thriving mystery beyond our comprehension.  So, my friends, I just want you to know that you're worthy of love and respect.  Whoever and wherever you are.  Keep the light of the innermost kindled in your heart and you will always have a home here at Amid Night Suns.  I've had visions my entire life.  I've seen things since I was a little boy.  Strange, magical things.  Dark things sometimes, but also breath-taking, incalculable Light.  I've tried to share many of these visions with you, even when it cost me greatly.  Even when it almost killed me.  But I do it because I want to be of service.  I want us to be friends and family.  So, as I stand at this open gate of the New Year, surrounded by ghosts, I want you to know that I love you.  I hope I can continue to show you glimpses of the things I've witnessed in my life.  These shining visions and paths to the heart.

This Haunted Heart from Raj Sisodia on Vimeo.