Monday 17 February 2020

After, Life

I've seen beyond this dance that immortals call the dreaming.  I've seen beyond logic, and linearity.  I've seen the birth of things I never imagined possible.  But seeing isn't enough.  Not for me.  Inner sight is a lot like raw power. Burdensome, paradoxical, often frightening.  Especially for those of us who haven't slain our empathy.  Those who still wish to walk with our brethren instead of subjugating them.  That's why I do this, I suppose.  That's why I show you these things, sweet ones.  Because I'm incredibly lonely, and because I know something of what it means to suffer.  I wouldn't wish that kind of loneliness or pain on anyone.  But we all suffer in varying ways, don't we?  This fallen fractal is built upon it.  Anxiety, insecurity, exploitation.  Perhaps these visions I offer mean nothing in the end.  Digital ghosts, here and then gone.  Like flesh.  Like ash in the breeze of a new day.  But the romantic in me would have it that such workings are kept somewhere in the unseen.  A place in eternity, where all kindness is kindled and held in the promise of our Father.  
   I hope I'm able to bring comfort to you in some way, wherever you may be.  If you are unable to see, let me see for you.  If you're unable to fight, let me fight for you.  With vision, and song.  There’s a part of me that wishes none of this was true.  A part that wishes I wasn’t an angel.  A thing of ragged wing, bleeding images torn from dream.  
   But I am, unfortunately.
  Even now, in this mortal flesh.  I suppose I don't really know how to be anything else.  Emissary, writer, wanderer.  My waking life is full of masks and charms and lies that protect.  Sometimes it feels like Kasi is the only real thing about me.  Like the depth of me is measured only in how far I fell.  Song to star to bitter soil.  But those thoughts are just tired indulgences in the end.  None of this is about me.  These visions and hidden choirs.  These worlds behind the world.  They're about service, empathy and honour.  Strength and solace, humbly offered to those who might find some use or quickening in this work.  I still have things to show you all.  There are still interesting things to see, I think.  Beyond logic or linearity.  Beyond this fallen dreaming that mortals call the real.  I've seen such vibrant life, my friends, even in those places after life.  The impossible suddenly possible, in an instant.  I've seen it awaken the sleeping and resurrect the dead.  Love, as living promise, even in total darkness.  Infinite brilliance shining in a sea of black. 

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